Why Listening Is Part of Your Message

By Susie A. Taylor | Story Strategist | Susie Taylor Marketing | Join the World Referral Network for FREE!

You're talking, but the other person keeps glancing at a phone.

Or they interrupt before you finish. Or you can almost see them preparing their response while you are still speaking.

They may technically hear your words.

But it doesn't feel like listening.

So what are we communicating when we listen poorly?

Listening sends a message of its own.

Attention can quietly say, You matter. What you are saying is worth my time.

Distraction, interruption, and impatience can communicate something very different, even when that is not what we intend.

Listening is also more than waiting for our turn to speak.

Many conversations become two people preparing speeches instead of trying to understand each other. Real listening requires curiosity.

“What do you mean by that?”

“How did that affect you?”

“What happened next?”

Questions like these create room for another person to finish a thought rather than defend it.

That matters because people do not always need advice first.

Our instinct may be to solve the problem, reassure them, or tell a similar story from our own experience. Sometimes those responses are useful.

Sometimes the most helpful thing we can do is let someone finish.

Listening also improves whatever we eventually say.

When we understand someone more clearly, we are less likely to respond to an assumption, an incomplete story, or what we thought they meant. Better listening often creates better communication because our response can fit the person actually in front of us.

Before answering, it may help to ask:

Am I trying to understand, or am I trying to prepare my answer?

Our message is shaped by more than our words.

It is also shaped by the quality of attention we offer while someone else is speaking.

Sometimes the clearest way to tell someone “You matter” is to stop talking long enough to truly hear them.

#Listening #Communication #Relationships #Empathy #EmotionalIntelligence #Connection #SelfAwareness