Communication Happens in the Space Between Intent and Impact

By Susie A. Taylor | Story Strategist | Susie Taylor Marketing | Join the World Referral Network for FREE!

“That’s not what I meant.”

Most of us have said it. Most of us have heard it.

One person intends to communicate something clearly, while the other receives something entirely different.

That is because communication is not just about the words we choose. It is also about the meaning another person gives them.

People hear through the filter of their own experiences. Past conversations, emotions, expectations, culture, and the history of a relationship can all shape interpretation.

Consider the simple phrase, “Can we talk?”

Depending on the situation, it can sound caring, serious, exciting, or deeply unsettling.

Tone matters too. So does timing.

The same sentence spoken warmly in a quiet moment can land very differently when sent as a short text during a stressful day. Email and messaging make this even harder because facial expression, pauses, and vocal tone disappear.

Then there is behavior.

We can say, “I’m listening,” while looking at a phone. We can say, “Take your time,” while repeatedly checking the clock. In those moments, our behavior may communicate more loudly than our words.

Good communication also leaves room for two things to be true at once.

You may not have intended to hurt someone, and they may still have felt hurt. Their reaction does not automatically prove bad intent, just as good intent does not erase impact.

That is where curiosity becomes useful.

Before or during an important conversation, ask:

What am I really trying to communicate?
How might this sound to the other person?
Is this the right time and method?
How can I check that we understood each other?

Communication is not complete when words leave our mouths.

It becomes meaningful when understanding has a chance to occur.

Sometimes the most useful response to “That’s not what I meant” is simply:

“Let me try again.”

#Communication #Relationships #EmotionalIntelligence #SelfAwareness #Empathy #Listening #PersonalGrowth